May Celebrations Gifts

Spring is coming... Sunshine, warmer weather... and MUD

Lesbian civil partnership.

Mardi Gras

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

Bacchus.

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

The International and May Day Terrorism

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

Bubbly

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

Dancing Doctor

Cardiac Recovery.

Dick was the kind of guy who wanted everyone to know it was his birthday.

"Hic. Gosh and begorrah!" "Wha?"

Elfie Stick

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

Dancing in pyjamas

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"Fred's had too much to drink - now he's hitting on that old coat rack."

'Awesome mummy costume!' 'I'm a pirate! Some kids just TPed me...'