Mature Personality Appreciator Pillows

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, What do you think of younger men? -kl. *(Actual reader letter) Ask Sadie at rudy@rudypark.com. Depends. Younger men have strong jaws and rock-hard abs, but they're missing the sexiest thing: they're not crotchety jerks, set in their ways, willing to argue about anything and say totally stupid things. Hey, doesn't that foul old wretch realize I've got rock-hard abs and a steel jaw?!

"Trust me kiddo, even donkey's years fly by way too fast..."

Wagging Dog

Jarvis Cocker

Nick Cave

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

"It's not art, really - just something I pulled out of my butt."

Old Tortoise

Flatware Follies.

This whisky is 20 years old!

'I can't take off my clothes - I'm Missouri Synod Lutheran!'

"Think, man! Think! How did you get this old so fast?!"

"I've finally got my head together."

'I'm gifted but I hide it well.'

'According to these statistics you'll probably outlive me...'

'FQ...?'

"It's just another birthday. . ."

Quasimodo Zit.

"Santa gets away with it because it shakes like a bowl full of jelly, not beer."

"Tireless worker? Well, when I was young, yes, but not anymore I can tell you..."

'Brilliant!'

'You don't know what a treat it is for me to run into you!'

How Aging Affects Candles. . .

'Oh yeah. . . she's the one that has a great personality.'

Fifty

Sign on a shopper: 'Yes actually I do own the pavement'.

'This is coming from someone who drinks from a toilet bowl.'

'All of your issues are prickly issues.'

"Well, there are cat people and dog people and..."

Pigtail Picture

Notable noses Vol. 83.

(Attack Dog) (It's about character stupid!)

"I bet those candles are heavier than the cake!"

"A lot of people say that absence is my best feature."

True Modesty.