Mathematics Mischief Pillows

Now Showing. Rated XXX. Rated "XXX"? -- It must be about algebra.

"My math teacher says I should consider becoming a teacher some day."

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

Ponzi-Mat Vending Machine

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

Artist gets pooped on by lots of birds.

'It's 10pm, does anyone know how much the U.S. dollar is worth?'

"Hey, were it up to me, you'd be here for another few days, but then I'm not your insurance company."

'I said you could have ONE cookie!' 'I know. I took two HALF moon cookies...'

'Little Nurse' daughter trying to distract Daddy so he cuts himself shaving

'I could have sworn it was the cavalry!!'

"I've decided to be an organ donor."

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

Man defaces a painting to make it fit above his fireplace.

"I'll call you back. I'm in a meeting."

'According to the previous exercise's logic, this time the result must be six.'

'What are you complaining about...they told you this was MINOR surgery!'

"Do I make you nervous, young man?"

'It wasn't an easy decision for me to make. Lots of coin tossing went into it.'

"I'm not a rule breaker, but the no eye blinking is going to be a tough one."

I'm a 10.5. What, litres?

'I was...wong about that stock. I was wonk about that stock. I was wrung about that stock. I was...wronk about that stock. I was...'

'I can't play any tunes, it's just used for hiding my farts after dinner.'

"Do not feel bad - violence is acceptable when the purpose of the toy is its own destruction."

14! What does that mean? We started the day with 100 pastries. We sold 85. There should be 15 left. But there are only 14. Overreaction coming. STOLEN SCONE!!! Breathe.

"By the way, your insurance doesn't cover these tests...JUST KIDDING! That was the stress test."

Burnt Turkey

'I keep getting leadership mixed up with incitement.'

"The numbers just don't add up."

Those bubble wrap kids.

"Baldo, why is this music so loud?"

'Throw Your Money Down a Rathole' vending machine.

'I don't think this is how we draw them to see who goes first.'

'Remember when you lent me money and I said I'd never forget you? Well, I'm broke again.'