Math Buffs Gifts

"The state of graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my colleegs agrree that there maths isn't much better."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

'But I digress...'

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

'Uhhh... Houston, we have a problem.'

Pi Ala Mode.

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

A Major Refresher Course is in Order.

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

New Road Signs to Watch For:

"If x is the set of all men that love you, then I am a member of x."

"I know it may be wrong, but it's how I feel."

'If your calculations are correct, this completely revolutionizes everything we thought we knew about why chalk squeaks on a blackboard!'

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

"Or we could tally the sheep like this."

"Gifted class, indeed! One is gifted in science, but can't rad - one is fixed in reading, but won't even try math..."

'I have to agree -- the value of pie goes on indefinitely.'

'Maths is fun!'

Think Tank

'Single math professor in search of an intelligent woman. Send an example of your favorite equation.'

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

'190 divided by two...'

Graduation Speech.

When Cells Divide

Mr. Defner's drive-in algebra class was retro cool, controversial and somewhat effective.

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."