Mathematics Buff Gifts

"A centipede! Oh yeah! Well, MY daddy is a millipede, so he's ten times better than YOUR daddy!"

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

'But I digress...'

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

Pi Ala Mode.

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

New Road Signs to Watch For:

"I know it may be wrong, but it's how I feel."

'If your calculations are correct, this completely revolutionizes everything we thought we knew about why chalk squeaks on a blackboard!'

"Gifted class, indeed! One is gifted in science, but can't rad - one is fixed in reading, but won't even try math..."

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

"Or we could tally the sheep like this."

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

'This is where I hang out until bullishness makes a comeback.'

'Maths is fun!'

"He'll do anything to say in power."

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

'190 divided by two...'

When Cells Divide

'The bad news is that we lost a lot of money last quarter... The good news is that it was a record.'

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

Mr. Defner's drive-in algebra class was retro cool, controversial and somewhat effective.

Common Core Family Therapy

"That was Copernicus on the phone – he says you're NOT the centre of the universe!"

"When the teacher explained negative numbers, I suddenly understood how politicians 'deficit spend'."