Maternity Mirth Pillows

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

"Garden variety allergies."

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

'Who wants to be examined first?'

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

The Elephant in the Womb

Pregnant Woman - "I think it's coming gift-wrapped."

Maternity Unit - 'Congratulations! It's a midwife!'

In the club.

'This is a rarity in today's world. No corporate sponsorship signs in here.'

"We've gone old fashioned and decided against finding out the sex of my obstetrician."

'And Remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'Gee, Dad, Mom's getting better at this all the time!'

'I'm on the way!'

"Triple whammy."

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

'Here we go, two more mouths to feed.'