Maternity Mirth Pillows

'Hold it RIGHT there, buster! Nobody leaves the floor before signing out first!'

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

Mighty Man Of Justice Is Born

"Garden variety allergies."

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

'Who wants to be examined first?'

So … you do a lot of yoga?

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Batman's Baby

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

The Elephant in the Womb

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

Pregnant Woman - "I think it's coming gift-wrapped."

Maternity Unit - 'Congratulations! It's a midwife!'

"Mother and baby are doing well...Both are in a stable condition."

Clown Delivering Babies.

In the club.

"We've gone old fashioned and decided against finding out the sex of my obstetrician."

'This is a rarity in today's world. No corporate sponsorship signs in here.'

Congratulations! When are you due?

'And Remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'Our ultrasound equipment is not working, so we've brought in famed psychic Jennifer Armstrong to give us a vision of the fetus.'

'Gee, Dad, Mom's getting better at this all the time!'

'I'm on the way!'

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

"Triple whammy."

Clown umbilical cord is made of party balloons.