Maternal Care Lover Gifts

Rank: Everyone unconsciously desires to return to the womb.

Batman at the Maternity Ward

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother. Why's that? House of Java .Net Cybercafe. Because how a man treats his mother is a good indicator of how he'll treat a girlfriend. That's why I created an app that calls your phone and displays a photo of you hugging your mom whenever a gorgeous lady is within three feet of you. It also displays a nice, sweet lady whenever you're within three feet of your mom.

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

Open other end

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

Caution. Slippery when wet.

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'When will I start to look 'radiant and blooming'?'

'It's a screaming ladies part.'

'Next time your kid has a party, blow up the balloons with an airpump!'

'You broke your wishbone. I'd suggest making a wish.'

Clown baby.

Maternity Ward "Just call me the Secretary of Labor."

Pelvis birth canal exit: Width restrictions apply.

She's good, but Mom's better.

'She's the primary caregiver!'

'Your mommy is here as you requested, sire, to check for monsters under your throne!'

Single parents.

"Please note nurse: healthy baby, next appointment in two weeks..."

Pregnant woman enters door marked: 'Mommy Time ... With Pre and Post-Natal Hug Therapy'

'That's it? Listen to my mom?'

'It's no use he just doesn't understand the let-down reflex!'

'Looks like we'll have this one by C section."

Yummy Mummy

'Make love to me - I want to launch a range of baby and maternity wear.'

"Well at least now I ca almost imagine the level of pain my husband goes through when he's got a cold."

'What I like most about my mom is that she always supersizes her hugs.'

"I warned you, Kid! I brought back up!!"

"I want to buy you a card that reflects the sacrifices you've made on my behalf, Mom. Where's your purse?"