Materialistic Philosopher Gifts

'People who say you can't buy happiness just don't know where to shop.'

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

"I shop, therefore I am."

"You cheap shit! Why can't we have a designer divorce?"

"It all started when I didn't grow up in a palatial estate."

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

"I'll take new members any way I can get them."

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

'And remember: just hold up this little green paper, and they will do whatever you want.'

"When I was making money, I made the most money, and now that I'm spiritual I'm the most spiritual."

"Not only is the grass greener, but check out that Mercedes!"

We just assumed everyone knew they couldn't take it with them.

"Well, maybe money can't buy happiness, but I'm willing to try."

Robert Macaire recieving expensive gifts from his love

The Worship of Money

"And this is a picture of John when we still had a Lamborghini."

"I misplace everything, yet there always seems to be more of it."

"My third and final wish is for money and wealth—again!"

New Gods

"So you can take it with you!"

'No fortune cookies please - I don't want to get my hopes up.'

"Good morning, Mrs. Kiley."

'Shallow, so you think I'm shallow do you? Just because I happen to think my career is important, that my car matters and that clothes make a difference.'

Consumerism junkie.

Other Patron Saints of Christmas

"Never mind."

"Depending on who you know, you CAN take it with you. See anything you like?"

"For Gladys it's not the thought that counts, it's the size of the gift."

Capitalism sinks while Karl Marx's Capital stays afloat.

"This can't be heaven, where's the shops?"

'Who told you about my lottery win?'

"To eventually be rich enough to throw away brand new stuff."

"It's better if we don't get our hopes up."

'What?! Oh, that's just an expression. Of course you can take it with you!'

"All the money in the world, and nothing good to buy."