Materialistic Philosopher Pillows

'People who say you can't buy happiness just don't know where to shop.'

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

"I shop, therefore I am."

"You cheap shit! Why can't we have a designer divorce?"

"It all started when I didn't grow up in a palatial estate."

"I'll take new members any way I can get them."

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

'And remember: just hold up this little green paper, and they will do whatever you want.'

"When I was making money, I made the most money, and now that I'm spiritual I'm the most spiritual."

"Not only is the grass greener, but check out that Mercedes!"

We just assumed everyone knew they couldn't take it with them.

Robert Macaire recieving expensive gifts from his love

"Well, maybe money can't buy happiness, but I'm willing to try."

New Gods

"So you can take it with you!"

"I misplace everything, yet there always seems to be more of it."

"My third and final wish is for money and wealth—again!"

'No fortune cookies please - I don't want to get my hopes up.'

"Good morning, Mrs. Kiley."

'Shallow, so you think I'm shallow do you? Just because I happen to think my career is important, that my car matters and that clothes make a difference.'

Consumerism junkie.

Other Patron Saints of Christmas

"Never mind."

'Who told you about my lottery win?'

"To eventually be rich enough to throw away brand new stuff."

"For Gladys it's not the thought that counts, it's the size of the gift."

Capitalism sinks while Karl Marx's Capital stays afloat.

"It's better if we don't get our hopes up."

"Depending on who you know, you CAN take it with you. See anything you like?"

"This can't be heaven, where's the shops?"

"All the money in the world, and nothing good to buy."

U-can take it with you funerals.