Matchy-matchy Aficionados Pillows

"We're becoming very similar in a lot of ways."

"We have the exact same taste."

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

Lovers

The commentators want to run the officials...

'The centre-forward wins a foul!'

'We're in a hurry.'

"Of all the finger-painting classes in all the day-care centers in all the world, you had to walk into mine."

". . . and in the corner to my right, weighing 217 pounds, fighting as a Capricorn with Capricorn rising and Mars conjunct Uranus in the fifth, out of Beaufort, South Carolinaaa. . ."

Keeping Warm

Ventrilamatch.com

'No need to put my details in darlin'... You're the girl for me!'

'I know it's an early kick off but this is ridiculous!'

His And Her T-shirts

"Why do footballers never shake a fist when they miss?"

"Jeremy called our relationship 'crunchy.'"

Footballer.

'Yes, he was there his afternoon - that's his balloon floating in the penalty area.'

'Hello? Help me out here. Would it kill you to show a little interest?'

'Hey Wilson, I just realised that we both wore the exact same shirt today.'

Football Applause

'These oxygen tanks go with your tickets. Where you're sitting, you'll need them.'

Couple in Green

"Nice shirt. Is it made of boyfriend material?"

'He should be sensitive, but not overly sensitive ��' except to my needs.'

'Aha, this is exactly the same opening position as Botvinnick versus Capablanca in Rotterdam 1938.'

"My Man Utd top's still in the wash"

Footballers chasing a ball.

Football Hooligan.

There's a factory up here making something exported to earth? Yeah, people down there want a match made in heaven!

"We'll swop at half time."

'The top and shorts are a perfect match.' (Sales assistant to customer in a jigsaw outfit).

'It's hard for him to do much work around the house. He only has half-times available.'

'I've got a moth who's very keen to meet a light bulb.'

Cricket