Matcha Gifts

"You had me at alternative milk."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

'But Mum, I've got a match after school...'

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

Isn't there something about this in th Geneva Convention

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

"Keep it up. His knuckles are getting really sore"

Acme Dating Service

Cupid

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

Match maker

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

"Look,we'll settle this on penalties, not an American style shoot out."

Sidekick speed matching service.

'Dream-dates don't normally go for nightmares.'

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

"The preacher's wife needs a new hobby."

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

Bowled out.

"Umm. . . Hello? I'm over here!"