Match Day Humorists Pillows

The new heated seats were proving to be just a little too hot for the fans!

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

Beer Order

Tennis ball girl.

"You might want to save that for your blog."

'May I recommend a dry white with the seafood dish.'

'If you're proposing, Nigel, get it done before full time!'

'But Mum, I've got a match after school...'

'I hate PowerPoint.'

The Rugby Throw Up.

'To begin with, he's from Mars, I'm from Venus...'

'Honestly, Harry. It's getting so I can't tell your scratching from the cat's.'

'Oh come on, I'm sure she'll still be there after Match of the Day's finished...'

Bride of Frankenstein charges her phone

"Do you have anything that would make him seem like a self satisfied pig?"

"If the packers lose I'll eat my hat."

'You don't sniff my butt anymore.'

"Edgar, I'm talking to you! For goodness sake, has the cat got your tongue?"

'Can't you tell people about our new swimming pool without saying I've 'gone off the deep end?''

'What do you want that for? You're already going nowhere fast.'

'The manager tol us not to let the other side see the ball and that's what I'm doing!'

'I seem to be very conservative but secretly, I'm a rebel - I don't wear pants.'

Do you really have to do that every time you make a good call? 76. If refs acted like players.

Great coaching is about knowing how to give and when to play feedback...

Bowled out.

"I'm afraid I'm kind of a klutz."

"You will let me know if I'm boring you with my little stories, won't you dear?"

"At this point, we're only staying together for the sake of the pets."

'I don't usually find worms attractive,but as soon as I saw him I was hooked!'

Who's playing - 'I'm not sure.' - 'What's the score?' - 'I don't know.' - 'What the...?' - 'Yeah, baby... slow motion replay' -

"Technically, I don't think you can claim to have saved your husband's life on several occasions just because you haven't killed him!"

GOOOOAAAAAL!

'Look - if you're not going to watch the match, you might as well have stayed at home and gawped at yourself in the mirror!'

Wedding pictures.