Match Day Jester Pillows

Bowled out.

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

Tennis ball girl.

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

'Anybody for breakfast?'

Football supporters.

'If you're proposing, Nigel, get it done before full time!'

'But Mum, I've got a match after school...'

The Rugby Throw Up.

"So, after five glorious weeks, football is coming home!"

'If it's a game of two halves, how come you're on your third pint?'

"This is as far as your air miles take you."

'Not watching this,are you luv?'

'I wonder who they'll bring on as manager for the second half.'

A football fan chews a football as his team concedes.

"Buona Sera, Mrs. Johnson! You ordered two pizzas. That's £18!"

'I don't think you are going to see the end of this match with that 4-4-2 formation.'

GOOOOAAAAAL!

"I promised I'd bring him - he could never afford to come when he was alive."

The new heated seats were proving to be just a little too hot for the fans!

"Arlen keeps bragging about running 26 miles. What he fails to tell people is that it took him eight months to do it."

A typical Newcastle fan.

'Thank you for holding. By the way, what were you holding.'

Football players walk onto the pitch holding childrens' hands, who are holding rag dolls.

'This is room 35a. About that early morning wake up I asked for!'

"I brought out the meekness in others."

'I thought I would never find a place to park, dear.'

'Well, Mr. Grumpy, who got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?'