Match Day Diva Gifts

'Look - if you're not going to watch the match, you might as well have stayed at home and gawped at yourself in the mirror!'

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

Tennis ball girl.

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

"Za Za Bling Bling goes man hunting."

Soccer games took on a whole new meaning for the parents of Hillsdale Youth Soccer.

'If you're proposing, Nigel, get it done before full time!'

'But Mum, I've got a match after school...'

Football supporters.

The Rugby Throw Up.

'We're in a hurry.'

'The centre-forward wins a foul!'

'If it's a game of two halves, how come you're on your third pint?'

"So, after five glorious weeks, football is coming home!"

"If the packers lose I'll eat my hat."

'I wonder who they'll bring on as manager for the second half.'

Social butterfly

Bowled out.

"Buona Sera, Mrs. Johnson! You ordered two pizzas. That's £18!"

"Why do footballers never shake a fist when they miss?"

'I don't think you are going to see the end of this match with that 4-4-2 formation.'

The new heated seats were proving to be just a little too hot for the fans!

Footballer.

A typical Newcastle fan.

'Yes, he was there his afternoon - that's his balloon floating in the penalty area.'

'Baz? How the hell can you be 'going out' with an agoraphobic?!'

'These oxygen tanks go with your tickets. Where you're sitting, you'll need them.'

Football Applause

'Don't mind her...I brought along my grief counsellor just in case.'

'Do you know what men and pantyhose have in common? They both run, cling, or don't fit properly.'

'Early evening kick-off for the Gunners, is it, Henderson?'

Tarot Lying

Football players walk onto the pitch holding childrens' hands, who are holding rag dolls.