Date Night Diva Gifts

"I'm trying to decide between a cocktail with a cute name and one that's blatantly sexual."

'Edna, we're late! You don't have time for a second coat!'

'Do you think I'm over-dressed? Its a first date.'

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

"Do you mind?"

Little Princess.

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

You're so beautiful, I can't take my eyes off you, even though there's a fly in my soup doing the backstroke, which is comedy gold!

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."

'S'more wine?'

Man says: 'Great pizza, but the mozzarella was a bit stringy.'

Wait – is that your dad? Tunnel of Love.

"You and your daft inventions."

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

Another blind date ends badly for Jimbo the Clown.

"Za Za Bling Bling goes man hunting."

"Could I have a bottle of the Chateau Lafitte '67 but filled with the wine from Tesco 2019."

"I like Chardonnay, but I like saying 'Pinot Grigio.'"

'You forgot your glasses again, didn't you?'

"I think I found the perfect time of year to sell my old clothes!"

'Look. . . for the last time, I'm not playin' 'footsie' with you!'

"I'm ready for my close-up."

Chefs-R-Us

Master of the Universe meets the sugar plumb fairies

"Couples therapy is not 'going out', Henry!"

"This is the last time I let anyone fix me up with a blind date!"

Playboy has rigged his car with a loveseat

Girl trying to be a woman

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

Lobster a la Riseholme!

Blind date with girl with elephant trunk for nose