Master Of Office Maneuvers Gifts

"Haven't you heard! There's going to be a bit of a reshuffle!"

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

Multi-tasking.

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

'Lion Tamer experience hey? Well, I have a project currently needing your management skills...'

'I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.'

"It's all a matter of planning...."

"That's unanimous then - we don't know what to do."

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

Traffic Management Strategic Group

"A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something."

Hats: Management/Good Job/Friendly but Aloof.

Project Manager Showdown

'My computer? - I got rid of it for insubordination!'

"well I'll be - you are the boss of me."

'He was always too busy to sit for his portrait.'

How Do You Like My Moseying Along?

'I can't decide weather to have a feisty or a sassy management style.'

"Your first job is to learn to recognize your boss' voice on the phone."

'He's out massaging,manipulating and monopolising.'

"Get me someone in Apologies, someone in Walkbacks, and send up the whole Scapegoating team."

Quiet Quitting

"I'm glad my team places me on a pedestal."

'Unfortunately when our last window of opportunity opened up, we mistakenly crawled out of it rather than into it.'

"Experience is the wonderful knowledge that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again."

"You need to put on some weight if you want to keep your job!"

"Congratulations, dad! You won for 'Most Imaginative Maneuver' on a skateboard!"

Employees need to be treated like adults...

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

'Treat me easy this morning.'

"He's faking it to get out of school. Bring in his teacher and run some tests."

'As soon as I saw you, I knew you were the right man for the job.'

"You deal with the nitty gritty, I'll handle the overview."

'Attention all employees shopping online during office hours must stop immediately! You are here to make money!!'

"In business it's called "constant contact." In society it's called "stalking"".