Master Of Barks T-Shirts

'Are you sure that's referring to me? I thought it was about YOU.'

The president's men

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"Isn't it great to get out of the kitchen and cook in the fresh air!"

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

No Soliciting

"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."

Dog Obedience School: 'I think we're going to have our work cut out with this one.'

'I think you should seek treatment for that Lego block obsession of yours!'

"I admire your patience, Fred, but c'mon!"

Dogs Must Be On A Leash.

"So our agreed strategy is to dominate the market and it creeps profits by 670%. Anybody any idea how to do it?"

Doggie door in The Pearly Gates.

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

Bowling ball van driving into bowling pin factory.

"Thanks for your concern, and yes, I'm a rescue dog, but that's my actual job title: I rescue people..."

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

"It's always so loud during yappy hour."

A day in the life of a dog.

'Actually, mine is a useless hunter, but we both love wandering idly in the woods...'

The four freedoms: freedom to bark, freedom from fetching, freedom to sleep on any piece of furniture, freedom from leashes.

"I think he's lost."

"Hello? I`d like to report a missing person..."

Servant talking to her old master about her new position

Desperate to save his 'Dognity', Rex needed proof that a bark control collar wasn't the way forward for a woof here. . . and a bark there!!'

"It was humiliating! First, he told me to beg and then he wanted me to roll over and pretend I was dead...so, I bit him!"

'You know it's time to bath the dog when he starts to smell like a gym bag!'

"How can you just sit there, wrapped in your own safe little world, when you know there are millions of squirrels out there?"

Heel! Toe!

-'I'd like a doggy bag.' -'And make it a big one.'

"I bark, therefore I am."

You shut up! No! You shut up! No! You shut up! No!

'Stupid telebarketers.'