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'You sound like a bunch of cats! The growl has to be deeper and the barks crisper. Okay, let's take it again from the first howl.'

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

Barks in code.

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

"Is this any way to treat 'Man's best friend'?"

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

Woman setting out a dinner party with name cards labeled cat person, dog person.

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'Rover isn't any good at catching frisbees. You've heard of stone hands?...he's got a stone mouth.'

Dogs

"Have you tried biting him?"

"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."

'What's amazing is that I only threw one stick.'

Dog Obedience School: 'I think we're going to have our work cut out with this one.'

'I found him on the internet.'

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

Dogs Must Be On A Leash.

'...and I know exactly how to interpret his barks.'

Doggie door in The Pearly Gates.

"That's just not the real me."

"I yip, therefore I am."

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

'They do say they're a shy breed.'

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

"It's always so loud during yappy hour."

A day in the life of a dog.

"He's sending an instant message."

'I heard my master say I was getting fixed...I didn't even know I was broken!'

'Can't one eat in peace!'

'Actually, mine is a useless hunter, but we both love wandering idly in the woods...'

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'