Master Delayer Gifts

Annual Convention of Procrastinators: 'Where is everybody?'

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

"I figured my stress ball should match the size of my anxiety."

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

This year, Barry resolved to try new things and take more chances - starting tomorrow.

'The only game my Dad knows is playing possum.'

Procrastinator Hall of Fame

'This may be the first day of the rest of my life, but I've decided to wait for the second day.'

The Procrastinatorium.

Exercise vs Laxative.

"The Procrastination World Championships were only a month away. He never trained so hard."

"I thought you meant we had a security leak."

'You should enter the rhythmic breathing Olympics!'

Procrastinator's Leap.

'My dad is away, so we can play...'

Congressional Gym. I never need to go in there. I get plenty of exercise kicking the can down the road.

Lazy dog.

Servant talking to her old master about her new position

'When someone asks where you work, what do you tell them?'

His entire life was about balance.

Procrastinators Anonymous: Just wait and see.

"Uh, it's the funniest thing honey... None of my power tools seem to work! I guess those projects will have to wait..."

"There's no way we can come to a decision - the meeting has only lasted half an hour."

'I feel awful. Coach was clutching his throat and turning blue, but I thought it was the 'bunt' sign.'

"Honestly, Doug, you never want to do anything. . . I swear with you, it's always meh, meh, meh!"

'I like to mix up my exercise routine. Sometimes I right click. Sometimes I double click...'

The clock for people who have no idea when they will be there.

"My audio is okay, but my video is kind of sore"

Welcome To I'll-Start-Tomorrow-Cise!

Notice at Train Station - 'It Is Better To Travel Hopefully Than To Arrive'.

Meet Hank C. Muffle, award winning author of the best lame excuses for train and plane delays!

"It wasn't an easy decision to make. Lots of coin tossing went into it."

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodneys retirement party due in only 12 years

'When he shifts gears... it's always into park.'

Pro Procrastination