Exercise Delayer Gifts

Welcome To I'll-Start-Tomorrow-Cise!

Walking a dog on a treadmill.

"Honey, I can't go to the gym today. I feel too out-of-shape."

'I dont know about you, but I've got the feeling we're in for long flight delays...'

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

"That's how you're getting your steps in, putting your fitness tracker on the dog?"

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

This year, Barry resolved to try new things and take more chances - starting tomorrow.

Easy chair exercise machines

'This may be the first day of the rest of my life, but I've decided to wait for the second day.'

Exercise vs Laxative.

"Remember me? I'm your running shoes. Remember what running is?"

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

'It's so much more enjoyable since we got an electric one.'

"As a frequent flier, you'll be entitled to stay in our airport lounge for up to a week during delays."

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

Congressional Gym. I never need to go in there. I get plenty of exercise kicking the can down the road.

Procrastinators Anonymous: Just wait and see.

"I thought you were getting into shape for hunting season."

Realistic resolutions 1. Give up drinking (until you have a terrible day on January 7th) 2. Exercise (until you realise it is too cold and you are too tired) 3. Eat healthy food (until you remember that you love - and in fact need - an enormous plate of mac 'n' cheese)

Train Arrivals

"There's no way we can come to a decision - the meeting has only lasted half an hour."

"It's a beautiful painting. But next time you're bored while waiting to see the doctor, I suggest just reading a magazine."

"Last year, you said you were signing up to a gym...it it nice?"

Sports centre lift.

"It keeps track of how long you've been wearing workout clothes without actually working out."

Annual Convention of Procrastinators: 'Where is everybody?'

"When the next lockdown comes, I might actually get on it."

"I believe you own me three hours from that flight to New York."

Meet Hank C. Muffle, award winning author of the best lame excuses for train and plane delays!

"I'm going to start working out when they make an activity tracker that fits my wrist."

'Harold always finds a way to do things lying down.'

Health Club. what's your favorite low-impact exercise? Turning over in bed.