Exercise Procrastinator Gifts

"It's great for multicrastinating."

Easy chair exercise machines

"When the next lockdown comes, I might actually get on it."

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

Cat Run

Realistic resolutions 1. Give up drinking (until you have a terrible day on January 7th) 2. Exercise (until you realise it is too cold and you are too tired) 3. Eat healthy food (until you remember that you love - and in fact need - an enormous plate of mac 'n' cheese)

"Last year, you said you were signing up to a gym...it it nice?"

"Honey, I can't go to the gym today. I feel too out-of-shape."

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

"I thought you were getting into shape for hunting season."

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"I did my report on time travel, but my dog ate my homework in the future."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"I'd rather eat your homework."

Serious Putty

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

'I forgot to do my homework so can we plow into a snow bank on the way to school?'

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

"I was all set to go to the gym, but you'd be amazed how much, yoga class and pour-a-glass, sound alike."

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

Studying and technology

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

'My arms are getting shorter.'

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

Obedience school was tough. Especially the homework, which he would do and then eat.

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Al, The Go-From Guy

'Busy Dear ?' 'Just watching my exercise video.'

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

'Look! A rock hard body in 90 days!'