Master Of Delay Stratagems Gifts

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"We structured the deal so it won't make any sense to you."

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

Man mourns the loss of his king after being checkmated.

Sisyphus Gets a Desk Job.

"Some days, no matter how much you procrastinate, work still gets done."

The artist wakes refreshed, creative juices flowing.

"Let's face it, this meeting isn't about tightening our work schedule. It's about stretching our deadline."

'Doctor says I've got an enlarged procrastinate.'

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

'Never put off till tomorrow something you can put off till the day after tomorrow...'

Inactive wear store.

'Okay, here's the plan...'

Procrastinator Hall of Fame

"For the last time - do not call me when I'm pretending to work."

"I like office work, it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours!"

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team

The Procrastinatorium.

'In just ten years he's accomplished what has taken others weeks to do.'

"You said you'd be 'five minutes,’ nine months ago."

"I think I'd be better off trying to figure this out the game on my own."

Notice to travelers: 'Delayed' is the New 'on time'.

"You probably don't need to write 'sorry for the delayed reply' every time, Natasha."

"You know, there are also some people who should never have children, hint hint...."

Deadline

"The Procrastination World Championships were only a month away. He never trained so hard."

"So we're agreed our strategy is to agree strategies for identifying a strategy that will guide us to increase profits."

"I'd like to enter, as defense exhibit 'A', this red herring."

Procrastinator's Leap.

'Life's too short to hold grudges.' 'No it's not! You just need to organize your time better.'

"I know at least two people who will sleep easier with him behind bars."

Cheating Death