Massage Chair Enthusiast Gifts

'This massage chair's impossible - all I do is sit there and worry about missing a flight.'

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

Tilly Slowboy

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

You can't get what up

"Pretty cushy, am I right?"

After 9pm Harry Lomax slips quietly into cruise control.

'I also offer massage therapy.'

'We do not do belly rubs, if that's what you are looking for.'

Couples Massage

"Careful... if you look too comfortable they take your chair away."

Introverted Chair

Reserved Parking

"Shoulder work ahead"

Flo discovered that one of the perks of cancer was that even reluctant friends were willing to give her foot massages,

"While you were on vacation, Zooker, a motion was made and seconded to saw five and a half inches off your chair legs."

"That feels good...now scratch a little to the left."

'But boss, this will keep my muscles from getting fatiqued.'

Shaker furniture: The flamboyant years.

Easy Listening for lazy people.

Toe-Tickling Machine

'And now for the (Yawn!) morning report....'

Welcome to the Adirondacks.

Chair massages.

To compensate for the stress of news broadcasts, Tina's TV came with a built-in massage system.

Sitting down

'Why would I want an ocean-going yacht when I've got a rocking chair in my front porch?'

"You're holding a lot of homophobia in your lower back."

'Only way I could get him to come was to tell him it was massage therapy.'

'If I was any more relaxed, I could host a NPR program.'

"I'm glad you're enjoying the massage feature on your new chair, but can you lower the setting a bit?"

Beware of Curmudgeon!