Massage Chair Enthusiast Pillows

'This massage chair's impossible - all I do is sit there and worry about missing a flight.'

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

Tilly Slowboy

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

You can't get what up

After 9pm Harry Lomax slips quietly into cruise control.

'I also offer massage therapy.'

'We do not do belly rubs, if that's what you are looking for.'

Couples Massage

Flo discovered that one of the perks of cancer was that even reluctant friends were willing to give her foot massages,

Reserved Parking

"Shoulder work ahead"

Introverted Chair

"Careful... if you look too comfortable they take your chair away."

"That feels good...now scratch a little to the left."

"While you were on vacation, Zooker, a motion was made and seconded to saw five and a half inches off your chair legs."

'But boss, this will keep my muscles from getting fatiqued.'

'And now for the (Yawn!) morning report....'

Easy Listening for lazy people.

Toe-Tickling Machine

Shaker furniture: The flamboyant years.

Welcome to the Adirondacks.

"You're holding a lot of homophobia in your lower back."

'Why would I want an ocean-going yacht when I've got a rocking chair in my front porch?'

Sitting down

'Only way I could get him to come was to tell him it was massage therapy.'

'If I was any more relaxed, I could host a NPR program.'

"I'm glad you're enjoying the massage feature on your new chair, but can you lower the setting a bit?"

Beware of Curmudgeon!

"So the SM is for swedish massage?"