Mass Humor Fan Pillows

How to spot the infrequent Mass attendees.

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

The Brothers Grime

10 K Tail-Chase

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

Trump Poutine

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

The Snooze Bar.

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

Beer Parasol.

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

tRUMp, Pirate President

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

'More government surveillance!'

May all your birthday wishes come true..

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'