Mass Humor Fan Pillows

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

The Brothers Grime

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

Trump Poutine

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

Beer Parasol.

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'More government surveillance!'

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

May all your birthday wishes come true..