Masculinity Tester Pillows

"Sure, while you went out robbing folks I stayed here and made a nice quiche, and just to prove I'm not a sissy I made it with mountain lion instead of ham."

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

Gas: Regular/Hi-Test/Testosterone

'Oh no its going to be one of those days.'

'My dad is pushing me to become an alpha male, but frankly, I'd rather be a poet...'

"Good game.". . ."Good game.". . . "Nice game.". . . "Good game.". . . "I'm in love with you.". . . "Good game."

"Sipsies?"

'Just because the alignment of the system wasn't maintained during rapid sample exchange, it's no threat to your manhood.'

"You're holding a lot of homophobia in your lower back."

"Which one more says 'Cool Guy?'"

"I was a mattress tester, but was fired for oversleeping and being late for work."

"Shaving off your three whiskers doesn't make you older!"

"You've been charged with driving under the influence of testosterone."

'It's come to my attention that you haven't been sleeping on the job.'

"That's an interesting question, Clint. I don't know if my gun rack is an authentic regionalism or just a macho affectation."

Crocodile Tie

"...And my Dad never gave me his approval. Which is why I try so had to be a perfect male specimen."

'Are they street legal, and do you have some insecurity thing going on?'

'..A new method of extracting money from purses.'

'Frank! Cut that out and get back to work!'

New parents refusing to change their baby's nappy

"Dear, do you think you may have become too comfortable with your masculinity?"

Macho fishing.

Movember

'I couldn't put it down.'

"Studly"?

"Real men don't shave, but, if you have to, don't be dainty about it."

'Sorry, I'm late. I overslept.'

"How many out of ten? Hello."

The New Man

"Man-to-man talk, Randy." "Proceed, friend." "If you were being audited, and you may have accidentally burned all your receipts and ledgers...would it be manlier to run away to a country that has no extradition treaty with the ours, or to weasel out of it by ratting out an even bigger tax cheat?" "Or, would it be manlier to frame the auditor for a crime he didn't commit?" "Gonna have to take a day to think about this one."