Mascot Performer Pillows

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

A man washing a mascot costume

"What do you mean hot dog is out sick?—but I'll look stupid all by myself!"

"So you work as Fluffy Biffy, the J-Mart Rooster People-Greeter?"

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

"That's our new church mascot."

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

'Okay, men, let's go out and win one for the flipper.'

"Pardon my glove."

'Last warning, Girard! Get rid of that mask!'

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

"It's all about teamwork. We even have our own mascot."

'Where in the rules does it say I can't keep a mascot in the goals?'

"How are my animal mascot teams doing?"

"It does seem like a school-approved activity."

"Leave my private parts alone, and I'll let you exploit me as a talking cat."

"I take it you're the bear foot field goal kicker."

"He's so cute when he waves his little baton."

"Yes we need it back. The team fired you, not Sharky."

'What's the name of our new mascot again?' 'Mopey.'

'Hi! I'm Nukee, the nuclear power mascot! You'll be seeing lots of me & I'll be seeing lots of you!

"Mr. Peanut is my dad—you can call me Rick."

'Looks like a little lucky mascot.'

"Can this wait? I'll never live it down if my staff sees you henpecking me."

"I'm sorry Gary, but my twelve apostles are enough. We don't also need a mascot."

"Good news is we killed the vampire. Bad news is he was actually our beloved town hero, Mosquito Man."

'It gets to the point where fans don't respond the way they used to. You need an edge, something more...' Cougar Charlie goes public about his long-standing battle with drugs.

"So... do we take him to the hospital or the veterinary clinic?"

'Don't worry...that's our mascot'

'Breaker' the mascot disappears from area college.

Music

'Keep looking. A 15-foot team mascot doesn't just slither away and vanish.'