Mascot Performer T-Shirts

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

A man washing a mascot costume

"What do you mean hot dog is out sick?—but I'll look stupid all by myself!"

Mascot proctology exam.

Hang on – It's so funny when the mascots fight!

"So you work as Fluffy Biffy, the J-Mart Rooster People-Greeter?"

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

"That's our new church mascot."

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

'Okay, men, let's go out and win one for the flipper.'

"Pardon my glove."

'Last warning, Girard! Get rid of that mask!'

Med School Mascots.

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

"It's all about teamwork. We even have our own mascot."

Mr Met

"How are my animal mascot teams doing?"

"Why do you always wear pants?"

'Where in the rules does it say I can't keep a mascot in the goals?'

'Hi! I'm Nukee, the nuclear power mascot! You'll be seeing lots of me & I'll be seeing lots of you!

"Leave my private parts alone, and I'll let you exploit me as a talking cat."

"It does seem like a school-approved activity."

"Mr. Peanut is my dad—you can call me Rick."

No poking doughboy

"I don't think it sends the right vibe."

"He's so cute when he waves his little baton."

'What's the name of our new mascot again?' 'Mopey.'

"Yes we need it back. The team fired you, not Sharky."

"I take it you're the bear foot field goal kicker."

'Looks like a little lucky mascot.'

"So... do we take him to the hospital or the veterinary clinic?"

"Can this wait? I'll never live it down if my staff sees you henpecking me."

"Good news is we killed the vampire. Bad news is he was actually our beloved town hero, Mosquito Man."

"I'm sorry Gary, but my twelve apostles are enough. We don't also need a mascot."