Marxist Satire Gifts

"Poor Karl Marx...If he had known that guys like you are called 'human capital' these days he would have called his book 'The Sloth.'"

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

Politically Correct Snowperson

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

Attack Of The Guy From The Other Room

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

" ... and this is my wife - I'm legally obligated to tell you that."

'Oh no! The sharp elbowed middle class!'

"One trip to the dentist and look who's got the attitude!"

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'

Planet of the Ants

"This is my 'country house.' I also have a duplex in the city."

"Hey, Gary. Lois wanted to know if you’re up for waiting forever for reheated leftovers and sipping warm mimosas intended to ease the pain of poor service amid a cacophony of idiot tourists and 20-year-olds... you know, brunch."

"But how many followers do you have?"

We just assumed everyone knew they couldn't take it with them.

"If that's the chief medical officer I'm not here."

Meet Larry; tenor, baritone, philosopher, social commentator, sport analyst, political expert, relationship expert … and A+ certified plumber.

Campus. Professor Frump is the most respected faculty member here. All the other professors want to be noticed by him. This semester he's teaching three classes. But for some unknown reason lots of students are dropping the second one. He asked why this is happening. Hoping to impress him, sociology and economics scholars rushed to present him with their theories. I guess he should have been more specific when he questioned with the middle class is disappearing.

State Insurance Office Covering School Shootings

Capitalists Courageous

Al's Diner. No Tipping (wink, wink).

"Everyone says I'm crazy and avoids me because I don't panic despite of corona, climate change or inflation. . ."

'Plastic surgeon' - 'Gift a give certificate to your ugly friends'

'False alarm! I'm back. It was only a career suicide.'

"I gave him a public education Artie ol' boy. . . you should know by now that government schools are one of my best minion corporations!"

"The floor is now open for discussion of what to name ou generation."

'Hey, man, that's not how we do the flash mob!'

"As this is our first date, perhaps I should tell you that I participate in several frequent liar programmes."

"Dreadful party, nobody to talk to!"

"It's our third date, can we look at each other now?"

"After years of unsuccessfully trying to catch my tail, I decided to just follow it on twitter."