Martian Meal Planners Pillows

Martha Stewart Takes Over The Universe

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

'Like death by salad.'

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

Kiddies Menu for Witches

'Men order. . . women shop.'

"Ok, ok, we'll travel back to dinnertime one more time, but then it's my turn to choose."

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

"I think my mom made me a tofu sandwich."

"We're out of today's soup, but you can have tomorrow's soup from yesterday which is the same as today's."

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"To help illustrate our sales plan I have created a pie chart."

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

"All good things must come to an end...unless I use both of my giant-size super-pots."

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

A day at the FULL CIRCLE RANCH

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

'I put an app on your computer to remove cookies and other thins slowing it down. It's like fiber for your computer.'

"No arguing mister! I want you to eat at least one pea!"

'There was a power failure today - we're having steak, fish, chicken, hamburger, turkey, and pork chops for dinner.'

"Your dinner is at www.Icouldntbearsed.com."

'Thaw for 24 hours. They should have told me that yesterday.'

"Our specials can also be accessed at www.todaysspecials.com."

'How many Breadsticks have you eaten?'

"Hey, guess what we're having for dinner tomorrow."

Me, Alice and God

Roger wouldn't prepare any meal without first consulting his pie chart.