Meal Planning Maestro Pillows

'It finally happened. The school hired a nutritionist and I really did flunk lunch.'

'If breakfast is the most important meal of the day, doesn't it make sense to wait until lunch before you eat?'

"All good things must come to an end...unless I use both of my giant-size super-pots."

'I sent out for everything.'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

Chez Nous Menu

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

Soup of the month.

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

'Like death by salad.'

Martha Stewart Takes Over The Universe

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

Before/After

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Horn of Leftovers

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'Men order. . . women shop.'

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

Surprise in the salad bowl

"Ok, ok, we'll travel back to dinnertime one more time, but then it's my turn to choose."

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

'What'll it be?'

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

"I think my mom made me a tofu sandwich."

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

"I'm unable to process this image."

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."