Marshmallow Maniac Gifts

"I don't know, maybe I'm just being mallowdramatic."

Harsh Mellows.

Take seat. Nothing makes me happier than keeping people warm and cooking s'mores for them. Friendly fire.

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Marshmallows

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

"Dad! Dad! It's freezing out here! I wish we had a fireplace to get all cozy and roast marshmallows!"

Milk Bar - "Don't you think you've had enough?"

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

A marshmallow? Oh, no, thank you, I'm good.

"My calculations are complete. We could toast 12,000 marshmallows every day for every person on earth for 36,000 years with one solar flare."

'The Torch Holder'.

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

'Marshmallows ready! Now for the roasting...'

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

"Really? You mean you’ve never smoked a joint?"

The lesser known active volcanoes.

The Burning Bush: How God convinced Moses to Lead His people a.k.a. the origin of s'mores.

1% Cereal: Now with marshmallow dollar signs.

"He must be a pro. He's got his own stick."

'Are these mushrooms edible?'

Emergency box in woods contains supplies for a campfire.

Marshmallow Roast

'I know it looks big, but it'll shrink when I wash it.'

The mushroom pickers

The dark secret about where the Easter Bunny gets the candy...

"First beach?"

"I can do this all day, marshmallow. I have a bright life ahead of me. You, on the other hand... I'm not so sure."

Mammoth hoover

Scary Marshmallow Campfire Stories.

"Not the Verity Brewster? The Verity Brewster who invented sweet-potato casserole with marshmallows on top?"

Zombie scout issues

"We're nearing The Sun, we're about to get out the marshmellows."

The Sacrificial Peep

'Get the kind with the little marshmallows.'