Marriage Transition Gifts

Just harried.

The fate of the emigrant

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

"I'm here for the hair."

"Good news, honey - seventy is the new fifty."

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

'Chicken soup for dummies who don't sweat the small stuff.'

"After six marriages I learnt my lesson and married my divorce lawyer."

'Oh, we don't keep score in our marriage, Dr. Downs, but if we did, I'd be winning 212 to 137.'

"It's a coming-of-middle-age story."

"The problem with online schooling is I can't get help from Mom and Dad!"

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."

"Hon, I'm taking your advice and starting a new chapter."

"Just when I’ve reconciled the fact that I’m in my 40s, my 50th birthday shows up."

"The nest may be empty, but our drinks are full."

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

Doubt or Certainy

"Mort, I'm writing a case study about two diametrically opposed archetypes of your generation. Archetype number one: a bold, debonaire male... The type that suffered no fools, lived life to the fullest, and pursued romance with tough, smart 'dames' who kept him on his toes. And then there's archetype number two: weak, insecure, afraid of life, and dominated by overbearing romantic partners who brought him to his knees. Ok. I'll participate. Who'd you find for archetype #2? You might want to

"Have a nice day harvesting data, honey."

"I see myself rising through the ranks of the organization until midlife, when I will most likely hit a wall and go screaming through the door."

"He's a terrific photographer but weddings are not his specialty."

'So push has come to shove...'

Women

PastFuture.

'You said to come back once I got my act together.'

"I got my wife a book on decluttering and the first thing to go was me."

Middle age anxiety about leaving the house.

"To tell you the truth, I never thought downward mobility would be so, well, downward."

"And this is my significant mother."