Relationship Transition Gifts

'You said to come back once I got my act together.'

"He just married me on the rebound."

'He used to be my tiger, now he's nothing more than a skunk, a boar and a lying toad.'

'This is just a thought, Ralph, but maybe we could fly South separately this year.'

'OK, you tell me: does he or does he not have 'transitional husband' written all over him?'

'Now that we married off the children, are you... r-e-a-d-y t-o-o-o r-r-u-m-m-m-b-l-e!?'

"Sorry, I'm looking for a more permanent relationship."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

Love at First Sight

Romance

Speed Dating for Turtles

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"When you say that love is in the air, you're referring to the smells from the food trucks, right?"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

"Mr. Right!"

"I know we just met, but all I got is a twenty-four-hour pass!"

Hug and Do a Chorus Line Kick.

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

I only have eyes for you

'I'll be darned! A nipple mood ring!'

Relationship Warning Lights

"Wow, I just love the way you waddle!"

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"Let's fall in love and live in the subjunctive."

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."

"I guess opposites do attract. She's a real shaker, and he's such a grind."

Klimt Kiss Phones

Love linked