Marriage Negotiator Gifts

"There's a sexual favor in it for you if you don't utter the word 'impeachment.'"

"Oh, our mortgage is okay -- We'd like to refinance our marriage."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'Gentlemen, I've been authorized to sweeten the offer.'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

Changing Minds

She - Interpreter - He.

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

'Face it, we're never going to reach a consensus.'

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

BEWARE OF THE DOG!; 'So much for management's pledge to bargain in good faith.'

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

'He wants to close the deal with a handshake. What do you think about that?'

"At least we agree to disagree."

"If you're really interested, talk to someone at corporate. They own my soul."