Marriage Insights Pillows

'I know a lot of married couples don't talk at the breakfast table, but on their honeymoon.'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"When you look at me, Alice, what do you see?"

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

Wanna talk about it?

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

"A word of advice, sir...when your wife reaches for another slice of pizza, never, ever say, 'Are you sure you should be eating that?'"

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

"Will the role of wife call for any nudity?"

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

'...Love, honor, cherish, and be careful what you wish for.'

"What on earth do they find to talk about?"

'The only reason she keeps me is to rub out her bed wrinkles.'

"Doc, she and I just don't understand each other any more...it's like we have different operating systems!"

'Do try and look intelligent-here comes my first husband...'

"You're a lot easier to live with once your antlers fall off."

'I understand your reluctance to speak but your marriage is in a rut and your wife needs your input.'

"Same thing every morning. Crack of Don at the crack of dawn."

'He kept winking at one of the bridesmaids.'

Lawyer, couple in bed - 'Natalie, remember my mother said we shouldn't go to sleep without settling things...'

"Donald switched off in 1985 and i never bothered to switch him on again."

As an experienced counsellor, she could see that their relationship had been doomed from the start.

'If she's that upset about the football match we're playing in this afternoon, what's she going to be like when she hears about the darts match this evening?'

"You have irritable-spouse syndrome."

"Susan!...are you trying to tell me we have an interface problem?"

'I don't worry about Harold putting the cap back on the toothpaste. He never takes it off!'

"I don't want a divorce, but I would like a gap year."

"You need a husband transplant"

"My wife finds it natural to nag, so if you hear that I died of natural causes, you'll know why."

'We believe in resolving a problem as soon as it arises.'