Marriage Counselor Gift Gifts

'...and another thing - why do I always have to sleep in the wet spot?'

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"We'll always have couples therapy."

Try Mediation

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

"Well, you both sleep eighteen hours a day, so try to coordinate this to find a window for some quality time together..."

"...until death do you a favor."

'Great Therapy!'

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

Incompatible.

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."