Marooned Matchmaker Gifts

Hmm...all the best!

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Asking out a palm reader.

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"From the gentleman at the end of the bar. Again."

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

Acme Dating Service

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

Match maker

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

Sidekick speed matching service.

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

Carbon Dating Agency

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

"The preacher's wife needs a new hobby."

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

'Are you fit, attractive male...?'

"Okay. So, apart from being a very shy ventriloquist, is there anything else you can tell me about him?"

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."