Marooned Matchmaker T-Shirts

Hmm...all the best!

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Asking out a palm reader.

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

"From the gentleman at the end of the bar. Again."

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

Acme Dating Service

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

Match maker

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

Carbon Dating Agency

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

Sidekick speed matching service.

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

'Mandy is playing cupid again!'

"The preacher's wife needs a new hobby."