Mystical Matchmaker T-Shirts

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Asking out a palm reader.

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

Acme Dating Service

"It's over between us, Kevin, I've met a most wonderful cod!"

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

The Tennis Racket in the Stone

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

Match maker

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

Sidekick speed matching service.

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

"He'd torch the castle and I'd rescue the damsel."

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

'Mandy is playing cupid again!'

"Kip paints caves."