Whimsical Matchmaker T-Shirts

'You are a cat person!'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Asking out a palm reader.

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

The Tennis Racket in the Stone

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

'This one writes some fine lyrics, and the other one has composed some beautiful music, but they just done't seem to hit it off as collaborators.'

"The big challenge now is to get them to mate in captivity."

"Of all the finger-painting classes in all the day-care centers in all the world, you had to walk into mine."

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

"He'd torch the castle and I'd rescue the damsel."

"Okay. So, apart from being a very shy ventriloquist, is there anything else you can tell me about him?"

"The preacher's wife needs a new hobby."

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

'Okay, this time we'll try for someone with a really good sense of humour.'

'Mandy is playing cupid again!'

Witch in bed reading: 'The Joy of Hex'.

A dog cupid flies an arrow after a dog jumping on a random man's leg.

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."

Online Dating

"I'm steelbuns 1995, you must be teen angle 1999."

'Make it seven beans and you got yourself a deal.'

'My name's Jeffrey. Will you be my Valentine?'

The Devil and an angel talk by the water cooler.

COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'How about a nice fixer-upper?'

Soulmates.

"Well Mom, thanks for setting us up, getting me to the restaurant on time, and getting the conversation started, but I think I can take it from here."

'I think I made A Major mistake.'

'You've been matched with a pub in Wigan' (to a man at a dating agency).

"Here we match people by their hatreds. It's a much stronger bond."

"Okay sir.I've fed your personal profile into the computer,and your ideal partner should look something like..."

'Do I know you?'

'I always give the shy guys a 'booster shot'.'