Magical Matchmaker T-Shirts

Witch in bed reading: 'The Joy of Hex'.

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Asking out a palm reader.

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

"This sounds promising. . . dark brown hair, loyal, cuddly and good in bed."

'You and Phil make a great couple. You're perfect for each other!'

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

Acme Dating Service

"It's over between us, Kevin, I've met a most wonderful cod!"

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

The Tennis Racket in the Stone

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

'This one writes some fine lyrics, and the other one has composed some beautiful music, but they just done't seem to hit it off as collaborators.'

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

Match maker

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

"Of all the finger-painting classes in all the day-care centers in all the world, you had to walk into mine."

"The big challenge now is to get them to mate in captivity."

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

Sidekick speed matching service.

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

"He'd torch the castle and I'd rescue the damsel."