Marketing Wits Gifts

"Not moonshine - small batch, artisanal grain alcohol."

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"For cryin' out loud, Frank, we don't have all day! Cut to the cheese!"

"That's a very difficult problem to address, Ted, could you restate it as a solution?"

"Who's your daddy corporation?"

'I'm worried about all these unemployed. They're still on our payroll'

"All it takes is a little marketing, Tia Carmen!"

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

"Now the first thing you have to do is to get a client's attention."

A bar selling 'crafty' beer is more popular than a bar selling 'craft' beer.

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

"Congratulations. Your ad isn't selling out product, but it's a YouTube sensation."

"I think it was one Christmas TV advert too many."

"I'd like you to meet our director of scratch-and-sniff advertising."

"Here's the artist's conception of your proposed smile."

"All in favor of changing out name from '17th Federal Savings & Loan' to 'Still Here Bank'..."

"Where do you get your inspiration?"

'Sorry, Simms, but ever since we downsized, I don't have any people to get in touch with your people.'

"I didn't think much of the plot, but I like the product placement."

'You were in commodities - cattle, stuff like that - so you must feel right at home here.'

"I'm not goofing off. I'm letting my money work for me."

'Your report captures the long and short of it, O'Toole; but it's lacking in breadth and depth.'

"I don't know how the competition are finding out our secrets!"

'He writes one great work of fiction every year...his tax return.'

Bow first.

When Pyromaniacs Buy A Home: 'This is a great starter home.'

I'm sorry - could you run that past me again?

"I'm in marketing. My motto is it's all in the packaging."

"He used to be in advertising"

'But look on the bright side. We did not create even one single hazardous waste!'

"Philip Larkin wouldn't like you, either."

'We want to focus on female customers. That's why we hired him. He is a real expert - women start shouting 'how sweeeet!' as soon as they notice him.'

'I think I've cracked our marketing problem.'