Marketing Satire Fans Gifts

Christmas Flyers.

"Looks like we found the issue."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

'No matter how cynical I become, I can't keep up.'

End the Winter Blues

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

"We need volunteers for the car chasing fundraiser."

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

Non-Power Breakfast

"He'll do anything to say in power."

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

"A few years ago, you management gurus told us to downsize until the halls echoed..."

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

"And I suppose you expect me to pick that up?"

Scapegoat of the Year

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

"It's a swearbox."

'To cut back on traveling expenses, we're going to start sending you out as an e-mail attachment.'

"You need to stop taking your work home with you. Take mine instead."