Market Trend Worrier Gifts

The gold price chart.

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

'We need to change our luck. Let's move our headquarters to Redmond, the home of Microsoft.'

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

Made in China

Emergency Hipster Beard

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

'The recession is over, again.'

"Everything's gone up."

Evolving Changes in Medical Lingo

"On Wall Street today, news of lower interest rates sent the stock market up, but then the expectation that these rates would be inflationary sent the market down, until the realization that lower rates might stimulate the sluggish economy pushed the mark

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting today."

The Euro - R.I.P.

'Actually, they're a hybrid. They are a blue-chip, common stock.'

'Why don't you use more blue? -- Blue is very popular these days.'

'What's this I hear about you going long?'

'The next big thing is ultra nano.'

Business Outlook

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

What makes the flies in your soup "artisanal"? I know, right? Personally, I think it's just a lot of hype perpetrated by the flies. Menu.

The Decline of the Euro.

Investments: Remember, Time Heals All Stocks.

'The only certainties in life are birth, death, taxes, and stock market uncertainty.'

#notblessed

'I just checked my portfolio and it's worth a small fortune. Unfortunately, I started with a large fortune.'

"Look the competition has a big, stupid product. We need a big, stupid product of our own, and we need it now!"