Market Trend Lover Pillows

'It's a market vane. It helps me keep track of the trade winds.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Studies show foods work miracles!

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

'The recession is over, again.'

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

'Perfect. Do you deliver?'

Why markets crash.

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

Jumping Wall Street.

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

Final words on gravestones.

Giraffe Selfie

"What are you doing?"

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting today."

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

'Actually, they're a hybrid. They are a blue-chip, common stock.'

Larry's Literary Market

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

"AXP 0.78, AIG 1.12, T 2.63. . ."