Market Trend Lover Gifts

'It's a market vane. It helps me keep track of the trade winds.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Studies show foods work miracles!

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

'The recession is over, again.'

'Perfect. Do you deliver?'

Why markets crash.

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

Jumping Wall Street.

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

Final words on gravestones.

Giraffe Selfie

'Actually, they're a hybrid. They are a blue-chip, common stock.'

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

Larry's Literary Market

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting today."

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

"AXP 0.78, AIG 1.12, T 2.63. . ."

Investments: Remember, Time Heals All Stocks.