Market Rookie Pillows

"He's quick with the birds and the bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears. . ."

'I love your playing....especially when you stop!'

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

'Perfect. Do you deliver?'

Why markets crash.

Jumping Wall Street.

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

The United States' economy deflating.

"AXP 0.78, AIG 1.12, T 2.63. . ."

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

"Let's try to think of something that untold millions of people will buy."

"Market euphoria is at an all time high."

'Today, stocks rose on the news that the more people have, the more they want.'

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

"I recommend you invest in oil. Prices are down now, but auto leaks are up."

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

Have you seen my money?

Wall Street Investing.

'I'm home, Honey! Come see what I picked up at the Farmers Market!'

'Fresh eggs!'

"Let me make this perfectly opaque..."

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

Bull Riding on the Stock Market

"It's the closest I get to being a hunter-gatherer."

"Find out if this is a market glitch or just the computer acting up!"

'I hereby sentence you to 40 years labor in an office with fluorescent lighting, just enough salary to keep you alive...'

"I'm getting a little itchy to redo the bedroom!"

High end of the market...

"Since you're a computer geek, I suggest lifting the box the weights came in."

Charging to a 10,000 Dow?

'This fortune cookie says, 'You will have good luck investing in emerging markets, fortune cookie & Chopstick Trading Company of Singapore.''

"I'd get out of the volatile, capricious, irritating stock market. . . but I might miss out on further gains."

"Welcome shareholders to the annual report - let us pray."

Bull and bear balancing a globe on a rope.