Maritime Misadventurer Gifts

"Can I stop bailing now?"

'No, thanks. You'll never get me into one of those.'

Ship's anchor with drainplug.

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

'It's bad enough that the stupid cruise ship didn't pick us up...'

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

"As I was only saying the other day..."

'Slip Ahoy!'

Fish snorkling above water.

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'

Pirates double up as a scratching post.

'Look Reg, a ship...we're saved!'

"Getting the hang of it?"

Sea weed harvest.

"I like my vodka like I like my ships - on the rocks!"

"Heads or tails?"

Titanic: How's my steering.

'Yes, I do a lot of rowing. How could you tell?'

'Not while I'm driving the boat, Marge, please,'

Guide to Carpentry Fish

You're so beautiful, I can't take my eyes off you, even though there's a fly in my soup doing the backstroke, which is comedy gold!

"I'm sure he said to meet him near the cactus."

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

Gone Bookkeepin'

'Just in case there is an accident.'

'...the storm raged and the doctor got drunk to steady his nerves..'

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

It is my mother's, she uses it as an anchor for our yacht.

'That must be the 'Jolly Roger' they're always on about.'

"Gee, I'm awfully sorry!"

'It's not a desert island - it's Australia.'

'I told my wife she had to choose between me and that precious boat of her's. She called my bluff. Can I sleep on your couch?'

Going to Sea.