Maritime Fiction Gifts

"My new book will be an epic novel of the sea."

"Call me Ishmael."

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

When laundry ruled the waves.

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

Naval Veterans Drinking at Greenwich Pub

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

Peter Benchley's New Book Fish!

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

A mermaid is on a rock at the sea: A mermaid falls in lover with her upper half and a shark falls in lover with her lower half.

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

On the plus side, I'd wager a lot of you folks back there had never seen an iceburg up close before.

"....After ten o'clock is quiet time on board for the comfort of our passengers."

'We should talk more.'

'THINGMY ON THE PORT BOW!! You know, what's it called? Long and pointy... Very fast... TORPEDO ON THE PORT BOW!!'

A writer goes sailing.

Rob The Grinder admires the Nobby Shropshire One

Captain Thomas Coram.

A Hellish Thing (The Rime of the Ancient Mariner).

'You're right Sir... it is the Flying Dutchman.'

Captain Ahab receives a Dick pic

Funk Facts: Pirates.

"Same ship, different day."

'If you were a carp where would you go?'

Queequeg: Master Harpoonist and Social Director, USS Pequod.

"How much to insure my artifical leg?"

So Lonely 'Twas (The Rime of the Ancient Mariner).

A writer sails on the water chased by editing shears.

Illustration for 'A Wrinkle for the Coastguard'.

"I can't tell a lie, Samantha. I'm a two bird bloke."

Sailor Writing

"Damned fine divorce lawyer you turned out to be - when you said I'd have to give her half of everything, I never thought for one minute..."

Nautical Antiques: We Catch Your Drift

'They say it's unsinkable.'

'I joined the navy to see the world and I spent four years on a submarine!'