Maritime Fiction Gifts

"My new book will be an epic novel of the sea."

"Call me Ishmael."

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

When laundry ruled the waves.

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

Naval Veterans Drinking at Greenwich Pub

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

Peter Benchley's New Book Fish!

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

A mermaid is on a rock at the sea: A mermaid falls in lover with her upper half and a shark falls in lover with her lower half.

On the plus side, I'd wager a lot of you folks back there had never seen an iceburg up close before.

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

'We should talk more.'

"....After ten o'clock is quiet time on board for the comfort of our passengers."

'THINGMY ON THE PORT BOW!! You know, what's it called? Long and pointy... Very fast... TORPEDO ON THE PORT BOW!!'

Rob The Grinder admires the Nobby Shropshire One

Captain Thomas Coram.

A writer goes sailing.

A Hellish Thing (The Rime of the Ancient Mariner).

"Same ship, different day."

'You're right Sir... it is the Flying Dutchman.'

Captain Ahab receives a Dick pic

Funk Facts: Pirates.

Queequeg: Master Harpoonist and Social Director, USS Pequod.

So Lonely 'Twas (The Rime of the Ancient Mariner).

"How much to insure my artifical leg?"

'If you were a carp where would you go?'

"I can't tell a lie, Samantha. I'm a two bird bloke."

A writer sails on the water chased by editing shears.

Nautical Antiques: We Catch Your Drift

"Damned fine divorce lawyer you turned out to be - when you said I'd have to give her half of everything, I never thought for one minute..."

Illustration for 'A Wrinkle for the Coastguard'.

'I joined the navy to see the world and I spent four years on a submarine!'

'They say it's unsinkable.'

Rats Flee the Titanic for the Ark